


Sometimes normal isn't possible

by That_awkwardanimephan



Series: The bliss of normality (A.K.A. team Voltron have some problems they need to resolve) [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Depressed Keith (Voltron), Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Eventual Keith/Lance (Voltron), Feelings, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), How Do I Tag, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Keith & Lance - Freeform, Keith & Shiro (Voltron) Friendship, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron) is So Done, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Kosmo - Freeform, Lance (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Lonely Lance (Voltron), M/M, Multi, Numb Keith, Oblivious Keith (Voltron), Orphan Keith (Voltron), Other, Sad Keith (Voltron), Self-Reflection, Talking, kangst, keith is an oblivous lad, lance is a good boi, no seriously, s7, so is lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 12:35:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16305335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_awkwardanimephan/pseuds/That_awkwardanimephan
Summary: "Since he was 15 Keith had felt… numb. That was the only way to describe it. The only way to describe how that after every battle, every mission, he felt nothing. Not the excitement of Lance, the relief of Hunk, the anticipation and thirst for knowledge of Pidge, the determination of Allura, the pride of Shiro. The way to describe how at the concert of his favourite band, even as the music moved through him and the crowds danced around him, happy as could be, or when Lance told a particularly funny joke and the laughter of the team could be heard from Kerberos, he felt… nothing. An emptiness inside of him which apparently the others didn’t have to face."In which Keith figures out that no-one is completely normal,  and has some help from the one and only sharpshooter to sort himself out.





	Sometimes normal isn't possible

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick reminder that this does contain mentions of depression and/or emotional numbness, so proceed with caution if needed, otherwise, enjoy!

Since he was 15 Keith had felt… numb. That was the only way to describe it. The only way to describe how that after every battle, every mission, even as he saw the light fade behind the eyes of his enemies, he felt nothing. Not the excitement of Lance, the relief of Hunk, the anticipation and thirst for knowledge of Pidge, the determination of Allura, the pride of Shiro. The way to describe how at the concert of his favourite band, even as the music moved through him and the crowds danced around him, happy as could be, or when Lance told a particularly funny joke and the laughter of the team could be heard from Kerberos, he felt… nothing. An emptiness inside of him which _apparently_ the others didn’t have to face. He didn’t think it was too unusual beforehand – well, maybe the concert was _kind of_ concerning -, he’d had his fair share of the abnormal before - becoming a defender of the universe, finding out he was half alien, joining the Blade of Marmora, an organisation made purely to bring down a power-hungry maniac 9,900 years too old for his own good. Yeah… that was pretty unusual. Hell, his life even before space had been a mess, jumping from foster home to foster home, finding his way into the Galaxy Garrison purely because of Takashi Shirogane, his basically-brother who _seemed_ to wish to die before the _disease slowly killing him_ would, having Shiro (now apparently single) disappear to space with apparently no intention to return any time soon according to the plaque sitting high on the Garrison memorial, and moving out to the desert, where all of _this_ began.

Yeah… his life had been... rough, different, certainly abnormal. That was why he didn’t think he was _that_ different to anyone else until, well... recently.

And, well, occasionally he would wake up and not go about his life like a numb, mindless drone, following life’s orders without a second thought, stopping to do its bidding at the twitch of a finger. Like, that one time at the space mall, where they were all running away on Kaltenecker, and he felt adrenalin course through him, or when, back on Earth, he felt so relieved at Shiro’s _apparently alive_ status he almost fainted, and later, when he became paladin of Red, the lion of the thing his Father perished in, he felt the grief trickle in for the first time in years, only to be smothered by the numb feeling which he had grown so accustomed to. And, of course, occasionally he would, for a moment, have the ability to feel happiness, but soon enough it would die down, pessimistic thoughts that these moments were few and far between slowly making their way into his consciousness instead. A minute of happiness for a weeks’ worth of numbness; that was the life he seemed to be living.

He began to grow concerned about it when he first met his mother.

Now, usually when one meets their long-lost Galran mother who they’ve never met before, they feel _something_. Whether it be anger that ‘ _You left me_!’, sadness and uncertainty for the same reason, happiness because ‘ _I found you!_ ’, confusion because ‘ _You’re purple!_?’, anything really, but still, _something_ , But… Keith didn’t. He just. Didn’t.

It was a few weeks later, as he was staring at the fire, space wolf at his side, sitting on top of a giant space whale on a mission with only his mother to accompany him, that he realised that being emotionally numb was not normal.

It was midday, almost two years later that he realised he was probably depressed.

It wasn’t an instantaneous realisation of course, he did, occasionally, have his days where he could actually emote, however it was about halfway through the day, just before his newly scheduled training session that he realised that the hollow sadness he was experiencing was very different to the normal numbness, and, even though _yes he was actually feeling something_ , he should probably figure out why it had occurred now, when he was back with the team, with his friends, in a situation which realistically should’ve made him feel ecstatic. It took him two days and a lot of self-reflection to find the answer.

Turns out that to say that Keith Kogane was oblivious was the understatement of the Deca-Phoeb.

So, for a few weeks, he continued to live his life, the burden of knowledge somehow making it even harder to deal with what he had now come to think of as his mental illness, until one day, he snapped.

They had visited a planet in the local area, and, with only a minor struggle, had managed to convince them to join the coalition, and had left with a haul of local delicacies, something which Keith was sure Hunk was very happy about. Now though, he was flying in Black, Shiro and Krolia at his side, chattering happily, lazy smiles gracing their faces, something which Keith was becoming increasingly aware of. He’d had a particularly bad day that day, waking up and wanting to go back to sleep almost immediately, then dragging himself around Black only to be faced with the trying task of putting on his fake, happy mask for the ‘greater good’. Really, it was only a matter of time before he lost his cool.

 _“Could you stop!”_ He had snapped after a particularly long laughing fit on Krolia and Shiro’s part, something which had resulted in the two ‘adults’ glancing not-so inconspicuously at him every few seconds until he let out a huff, set Black to autopilot and turned to the two people in the world who, at the moment, he most wanted to disappear from.

“What?” He had ground out at them, only to receive two identical eyebrow raises.

What happened after that, well… it wasn’t something that Keith was particularly proud of, a fight had broken out between the three, and secrets and emotions (or the lack thereof) were revealed, causing a slightly confused Krolia and significantly less confused Shiro to share equally concerned looks and attempt to comfort Keith, which caused the boy to turn away from them in a moment of self-pity and annoyance, which in turn caused his stupid but ever-loyal space wolf (and _no,_ his name was _not_ Kosmo) to teleport him away from not only Black, but the rest of the paladins as well.

So how the hell had Lance found him here, stuck on a planet devoid of any life, refusing to talk to anyone who tried to contact him.

Oh. _Oh._

Of course. Ever since Keith had returned to Voltron he had grown significantly closer to Lance, something which seemed to take literally everybody by surprise, even Lotor. As it turned out, while Keith was spending two years with his mother, soaking up 18 years’ worth of love, Lance had seemingly become touch starved to the extent that the first time they had been alone together, Lance had _hugged_ him. In the time they had spent together, Keith had learnt that the boy was also always worryingly alone, the other members of team Voltron always seeming to be pairing off and leaving Lance by himself. This meant that, once Keith returned, Lance had clung to him like a life raft, and, as the weeks of constantly spending time with Lance passed, the two grew closer, and Keith learned to like Lance and see past his annoying facade to see the person he really was. The two were often caught sharing ‘secret’ late night video calls over the comms which, if Keith’s hunch was correct, were apparently not as secret as they thought they were, and saw each other face to face whenever they could, always meeting each other with a tight embrace which had, on many occasions, ended with them standing side by side, fingertips just touching and faces flushed red. Again, Keith was very, very oblivious.

And now, the stupid team (yes, he was still angry), were using poor Lance again to get Keith back to the team. Well, good luck to them because he wasn’t leaving this planet until he wanted too, and no amount of Lances Lanceness would make that happen.

Except it did.

As Red - god, he’d missed him – opened his mouth and let Lance casually amble out of it Keith felt waves of anticipation wash over him as he prepared himself for the self-proclaimed sharp-shooter, who had just managed to find Keith, currently stabbing the surprisingly soft soil beneath him with his blade, and was making his way towards him.

“That’s not good for your blade, Keith.” Lance stated.

“Its _magic, Lance_.” Keith bit back, feeling simultaneously guilty and victorious as Lances eyes widened to the size of saucers.

The boy in question quickly ran his hand through his locks of hair, a habit Keith had picked up on in the time the two had spent together, before stating apprehensively, “I came here by choice.” Keith rolled his eyes.

“Oh, really now?” He said, venom lacing his words, “Do you even know why I’m out here, why _you’re_   out here?”

He sighed when Lance gulped and looked at the ground, hand running from his hair to the nape of his neck. He’d been too harsh then, it wasn’t Lances fault. It wasn’t Lances fault at all.

“Uh, no.” The boy in question eventually said, “...should I?”

“No!” Keith yelped, then, sighed, looking down at the ground his blade, now a dagger, was still jammed into, a frown crossing his face.

“Probably.” He said, voice barely a whisper, determinedly glaring at the ground.

Lance slowly took a step toward Keith, sitting next to him and placing a hand on his shoulder with such ease that even a stranger would be able to see the bond the two paladins had.

That one gesture, so simple but so full of understanding, was all it took for all of Keith’s walls to crumble, and for him to gently lean his head up against Lances shoulder, who in turn settled his head onto Keith’s.

“I’m…” He gulped. Should he really be doing this? Was it necessary? Why was he about to tell Lance –

His thoughts were shut down when Lance reached out and intertwined his fingers with Keith’s own, which caused the latter to sigh and take a moment to regain himself until...

“I’m depressed.” He said simply, the words rang throughout the atmosphere, echoing on the rocky mountains surrounding them. The weight of the three syllables hung thick in the air.

“I mean, I think, it’s hard to explain,” he rambled, “I mean, it’s like, I’m always just -

“Keith.” Lance cut him off, smiling gently and squeezing his hand, “it’s okay, you don’t need to explain yourself, unless you want to of course.”

Keith smiled, unconditionally grateful for the man beside him as the two sat in a comfortable silence, comforted by each other’s presence.

It wasn’t until roughly a varga later that Lance spoke up.

“If… you ever need to talk to me, I’m right here I think I understand more than you think I do.” He said.

Keith glanced up to see Lance, his usual goofy grin tainted by seriousness.

“But... that’s a story for another time, I think it’s time to head back to the team, don’t you?” Lance asked, a gentle smile on his face.

Keith, surprising even himself, nodded – damn, Lance knew what he was doing – and smiled, although his smile was not nearly as wide as Lances, his mind still trained on what the boy in question had said before.

And as they stepped into Red, Keith taking a minute to just… soak up his presence, neither one of the two seemed to notice – or care - that, fingers intertwined, their hands were still tightly clasped together.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So this is just a random fic I wrote, i'm not really sure why and i'm sure in 2+ years i'll look back on it and cringe, but for now I not cringing that badly. I'm hoping to maybe make a series of oneshots surrounding team Voltron and their lives before, during and after Voltron, but for now this is a start. To anyone who decided to for some reason read this A/N thanks for reading and leave any comments about it below!  
> Original story, but all character rights go to the amazing cast, crew and producers of Voltron!
> 
> \- That_awkwardanimephan
> 
>  
> 
> Also guys a quick update I was rereading this and I realised that at one point I have had Keith pointing out Shiros single stays, this was in no way intended to hint at a romantic relationship towards the two, (especially after how I have set out their relationship as brothers) but rather is a reference to Shiro and Adam apparently splitting up (my heart breaks everytime I think about the two I have no idea why I included it) and how that was a big and messy event within Keith's life.


End file.
